The AFU and Urban Legend Archive Collegiate harvard legends Select a topic - - - - - - - - Home Searches AFU FAQ - - - - - - - - AFU Animals Books Celebrities Classic Collegiate Death Disney Drugs Food GIF Language Legal Medical Misc Movies Politics Products Religion Science Sex Songs TV - - - - - - - - Other sites

Any questions, comments, or requests? Just write. (rocher@husc8.harvard.edu)

Quoted from _The Harvard Independent_, Dec. 9, 1993, pp.10-11

"The First Abridged Dictionary of Harvard Myths"

By Elizabeth Mann

Did Teddy Kennedy get caught at Elsie's for cheating? Did Revolutionary War soldiers throw a wild party in Stoughton Hall? Was Henry Kissenger the last student to get straight A's at Harvard, and could you get them, too, if your roommate dies? You can't exactly look up these answers in a dictionary. To spare you the legwork, the _Independent_ brings you a lexicon of Harvard lore -- the answers to 26 tales, legends, and stories, conveniently arrayed from A to Z.

Arrest, v. What Yale officials once tried to do to the Harvard University Band.

The myth and truth: In the 1950's, the raucous Crimson band made too much noise after winning The Game. "[Yale] arrested the whole band and hauled them into court," says Band Drillmaster Duane Stewart '95. But the band was let off with only a warning -- as luck would have it, their judge was a Harvard graduate.

Bathroom, n. Where John F. Kennedy lived in Weld Hall

The myth and truth: John F. Kennedy '40 spent his freshman year in Weld 32. Since then, the building has been renovated twice. It's believed that his bedroom became a women's bathroom in the first round of renovations, and an elevator shaft in its most recent incarnation.

Christian Warfare Against the Devil, World and Flesh, n. The one book that remains from John Harvard's bequest to the University.

The myth: A fire at Harvard Hall destroyed all of John Harvard's collection, save for one book. Luckily, a student had (illegally) borrowed the book, saving it from incineration. When the student presented it to then-President Edward Holyoke, the president thanked the student for his honesty and promptly expelled him for the theft.

The truth: In January 1764, a fire ravaged Harvard Hall, destroying everything but the book. Though the student's fate is unknown, the book he saved is currently on display at Houghton Library.

Dents, n. Marks left by cannonballs on the pathway outside Stoughton Hall.

The myth and truth: Charles Sullivan, executive director of the Cambridge Historical Commission, says 19th-century undergraduates warmed their rooms by heating connonballs -- stolen from the Massachusetts State Armory down the street -- in their hearths. (the red-hot cannonballs would be moved from the fire to the center of the room to heat it.) To avoid demerits at inspection time, the students would heave the cannonballs out the window.

Eliot House, n. Where you can find the piano belonging to Leonard Bernstein '39.

The myth and truth: Eliot Master Stephen Mitchell points out proudly that the piano of the famous composer and former Eliot House resident is kept in the house's clock tower.

Fire, n. What was left to burn by angry firemen.

The myth: In 1933, Harvard gave the Cambridge Fire Department permission to build its firehouse on Harvard land -- next to Memorial Hall -- on one condition: It had to be built in the expensive Neo-Georgian style of the University. When Mem Hall caught fire in 1956, the firemen got their revenge by dawdling, and the Mem Hall spire burned down.

The truth: The fire department wasn't out for blood. "The reason [the spire burned] was that at the time they didn't have pumps that were capable of getting the water high enough," says Dean of the College L. Fred Jewett '57. Thus, everything below the spire was saved.

Grazing cows in Harvard Yard, v. Privilege given only to University professors.

The myth and truth: One of the official perks of being a University professor -- a title given to Harvard's 10 or so preeminent professors -- is the right to graze their cattle in the Yard.

"I think it's the least the University can do for its distinguished professors," says former president and University Professor Derek Bok. "But unfortunately, so few of us have cows to take advantage of it."

Holworthy Hall view, n.

The myth: It used to be that Memorial Hall's bell, not Memorial Church's, would ring out the hour on school days. Though the bell was only supposed to ring 12 times, there was often a mysterious 13th ring. After a groundskeeper found rifle shells near the bell, he traced the extra ring to a sharpshooting Holworthy freshman with a .22. To ring the bell, he'd shoot it from his windowsill perch.

The truth: Though no one seems to know the truth, Holworthy windows certainly offer a clean shot.
[poster's note: It's a clean shot, but it's a damn long one. He would definitely have to have been a sharpshooter]

Ice cream, n. The Widener family's gift to freshmen.

The myth: Eleanor Elkins Widener, mother of Harry Widener '07, earmarked about $5 million for Harvard on the condition that the Freshman Union serve ice cream every day.

The truth: "No, that's a fallacy," says Union manager Katherine d'Andria. "It is served every day, but it's just on the menu because most kids like it, not because someone gave money."

Joke, n. Successfully played on the _Lampoon_ by the _Crimson_ during the Cold War.

The myth and truth: In 1953, during the peak of Cold War tensions, the _Crimson_ stole the metal ibis that tops the _Lampoon_ castle. The daily presented it to Stalin as a gift from American students. The _Lampoon_ had to beg the State Department to arrange for the bird's return.

Kissenger, Henry '50, n. The last student at Harvard to get straight A's.

The myth: No one has graduated unblemished from the College since the former Secretary of State.

The truth: Alas, Kissenger was only human. According to _Kissenger: A Biography_, the Government concentrator did get one B -- in the last philosophy course he took, "Relational Logic." As for the 15.0, Associate Registrar Thurston Smith says he has seen one perfect transcript in the past nine years.

Leave of absence, n. Response to an intellectual crisis.

The myth: Government Professor Michael Sandel took his 1991-1992 sabbatical to adjust to a realization that Philosophy Professor John Rawl's liberalism was more reasonable than he had previously thought.

The truth: No dice, says Sandel. "I don't know where [that story] came from... it's not the case."

Million, n. Income guaranteed to Porcellian Club members.

The myth: If members of the Porcellian do not earn their first million before they turn 40, the club will give it to them.

The truth: They ain't talking. Porc President Eric Gill '94 and several other members never returned phone calls.

Nude, adj. State in which Pi Eta Club punchees were initiated.

The myth: This now-defunct "speakers club" required its newest members to walk three blocks, buck naked, to Elsie's, and order lunch.

The truth: "They were known for their off-the-wall initiation," said Warren Little '55 of the Cambridge Historical Society. But there's little corroboration from Elsie's. "We has streakers once that I know of," says Elsie's night manager Janice Cooper. "That was about 12 years ago."

Orgies, n. Reason for draining the Adams House swimming pool.

The myth: The pool was closed to end weekly coed skinny-dipping sessions.

The truth: The pool was closed because it had fallen into disrepair. Still, the pool's past is far from tame. Former Adams House tutor Sean Lynn-Jones says "there were certainly large parties where no clothing was worn."

Philosophy, n. Subject that Radclife student Gertrude Stein mastered.

The myth and truth: According to Stein's _The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas_ (really an autobiography of Stein herself), Stein sat down to take the final exam in William James' philosophy class unprepared.

"Dear Professor James," she wrote in her blue book, "I am so sorry but really I do not feel a bit like an examination paper in philosophy to-day." She then left to enjoy the beautiful weather. James gave her an A, and sent her a postcard the day after the exam. It said, "Dear Miss Stein, I understand perfectly how you feel -- I often feel that way myself." [poster's note: I don't know if any sources were used to verify this, other than Stein's book. Personally, I am very skeptical of this one.]

Quizzical, adj. The look on camera-happy tourists' faces when they shoot the Science Center.

The myth: Harvard dropout Edward Land of the Polaroid Corporation donated the money to build the this building. Because the University has a policy not to name buildings after corporations, it honored him by designing the building to look like one of his cameras.

The truth: Dean of the College L. Fred Jewett '57 says there is no rule against naming buildings after corporations. Land was one of the major donors, but did not want the building named after him. But does it look like a Polaroid? Visual and Environmental Studies Professor John Stilgoe answers, "The Science Center looks like a building that's going to be in need of a lot of repair in ten years."

Roommate, n. Person whose death would get you automatic straight A's.

The myth: As consolation, Harvard will give a semester's perfect grade's to any student whose roommate dies.

The truth: "Oh, gosh, I have never heard that," laughs Dean of Students Archie Epps. Sorry.

Stoughton Hall, n. Building trashed by party-loving revolutionaries.

The myth and truth: This freshman dorm is actually the second to bear the name Stoughton Hall. The first was razed after its occupation by George Washington's rowdy troops left it uninhabitable.

T, the, n. Mode of transportation not allowed to pass under the Yard.

The myth: The T curves sharply around Mass. Ave. because Harvard wouldn't allow it to run beneath the campus. Harvard's claim rested on George Washington's goodwill -- to thank Harvard for lodging his troops during the Revolutionary War, he had promised it certain lands in perpetuity.

The truth: When the T's Red Line was extended in 1978, "Harvard did prevent the T from going under the Yard," says Charles Sullivan, executive director of the Cambridge Historical Commission. "But I'm not sure George Washington had anything to do with it."

Upside Down, adj. How the Carpenter Center was built.

The myth: French architect Le Corbusier sent the plans to Harvard to be executed in his absence. When he arrived for the center's dedication, he exclaimed that the University had built it upside-down.

The truth: "It wasn't built upside-down," says VES Professor John Stilgoe. He says the story probably started because Le Corbusier wasn't the only designer of the unorthodox structure -- in fact, he spent only one weekend in Cambridge before drawing up the plans, and thus was not available to explain his designs.
[poster's note: Carpenter Center might actually have looked better had it been built upside-down. It has been described as resembling "two pianos humping."]

Vexed, v. State of the Sever family when it heard the Crimson Key's mispronounciation of it's name.

The myth: Although everyone pronounces Sever Hall's name incorrectly -- as if it rhymed with "beaver" -- the Crimson Key Society started coaching its tour guides to make the name rhyme with "clever" after a member of the Sever family went on a tour and complained

The truth: "I don't know if the Severs were actually on the tour," says Crimson Key President Allison Koenig '94, "but I think they wrote to us." In any case, every Crimson Key guide pronounces "Sever" like "clever."

Widener, Harry '07, n. Harvard book collector who drowned on the Titanic.

The myth: As a condition for her bequest of a library, Harry's mother demanded that all freshman be required to pass a swim test to avoid Harry's sad fate.

The truth: Harvard instituted a swim test in the '20s (if you want to row you'll still have to take one), but it had nothing to do with the Wideners.

X'ed, v. What was done to kegs in the Yard.

The myth: The current keg ban began when when some freshmen in Massachusetts Hall soaked the French Prime Minister. The frosh had been rinsing out a keg in the shower when the drain clogged. Beer-water leaked through the ceiling, dripping on then-President Bok and Francois Mitterand.

The truth: "I haven't heard of that story," says Bok, who should know. [poster's note: The president's office is on the first floor of Massachusetts Hall. The upper floors are freshman housing. And yes, I know that Mitterand is the president, not the prime minister. Tell it to the _Independent_.]

Yale University, n. School whose mascot was strangled by a Harvard football coach with his bare hands.

The myth: In 1908, during the first Yale game of his career, legendary Harvard Coach Percy Haughton (class of 1899) pepped up his halftime talk by killing a bulldog.

The truth: "It's been embellished a little," says Tim Bonag, assistant director of sports information. "What we think actually happened was that [Haughton] dragged a papier-mache bulldog behind his car some time when the team could see him."

Zero, n. What Ted Kennedy got on his Spanish A final.

The myth: Sen. Edward Kennedy '54-'56 was required to withdraw for two years after cheating on a Spanish final. He had paid someone to take the test for him, and spent the exam period hanging out in Elsie's -- where he ran into his TF.

The truth: It wasn't Elsie's -- Elsie's didn't exist at the time. And Kennedy didn't pay the other party to take the test for him. And he didn't personally run into the TF. Otherwise, the story is right on.

Kennedy did get nailed for cheating. The story is told in Burton Hersh's _The Education of Edward Kennedy_.

In the spring of 1951, freshman Teddy Kennedy has a Spanish A final to take. One of his football teammates had a roommate who knew the language very well -- they called him "The Master of Spanish." Someone joked that the Master should take Teddy's exam for him.

On a whim, the Master agreed. Unfortunately, the Spanish A exam proctor recognized him. Within minutes of the exam's conclusion, Kennedy got a call from Dean of the College Delmar Leighton's office. He was nailed: Immediate suspension, readmission to be considered after at least one year off.

Teddy ended up enlisting in the Army during his time off. After 16 months of service, he returned to Harvard in 1953. From that point on, he trod the straight and narrow, and graduated in 1956 with a B average.

[end of article]

Again, if you have any questions, comments, or requests, just drop me a line.

Jean-Marc "Damn, that was a lot of typing." Rocher rocher@husc8.harvard.edu