The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
Sex
 porn uls




From: jrh@dixie.aiss.uiuc.edu (Jason R. Heimbaugh)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Porn Urban Legends
Date: 25 Oct 1994 15:14:42 GMT

In response to the idiots screaming, "XUXA WAS A PORN STAR" and the sensible posters responding that "nudity is not equivalent to porn", I scanned through Jeff Knapp's alt.sex.movies FAQ but found nothing on XuXa. Rest assured, that although she has appeared at least topless, she's never been filmed engaged in any actual sexual activity.

In the ASM FAQ, there's quite a lot of debunkings of other celebrity-related debunkings & truths which I felt obliged to thrill you with. Note: I just cut&pasted these sections without regard to labeling the gaping holes.

<cut here>

8.2 Did Cindy Brady do Opie?

A lot of people would pay a lot of money to see that one, but no, it never happened.

There are all sorts of people who are rumored to have been in porn -- Barbara Streisand, Sylvester Stallone (who did make an erotic movie at one point, but a porno???), Kevin Costner, Teri Hatcher, Christina Applegate and so on -- and there is absolutely no proof of any of it.

There is a book available in most major bookstores called "The Bare Facts", by Craig Hosoda, a sometime contributor to our group. You can use this book to find out if your favorite actor or actress has ever appeared in a state of undress. People on the a.s.m. net would be very, very surprised if you ever found an adult video that certifiably contained a celebrity. The reason being, mainly, that if they are celebrities, surely they have the means necessary to fully cover up the video.

However, all of the following people have frequently had questions (which have been answered) asked about them, so we present to you, the asm all-star "did-they or didn't they?" squad...

8.2.1 Do the Brady Girls Swallow?

I don't know... maybe they spit, but I can tell you they've never done porn, or even, as far we know, appeared nude.

This nudity issue is a very common rumor, and nobody seems to know where it got started. But Susan "Cindy" Olsen was never in pornographic movies. Nor is she, as according to another rumor that is widely circulated, dead. She never committed suicide. And she was never in an adult video. And she's not related to the Folger's coffee lady.

There has also been some fake pictures of Marcia floating around, and they are just that, fakes.

8.2.2 Did the devil make Tonya Harding do it?

Only if the devil was Jeff Gillooly. Tonya and Jeff are indeed in an explicit home movie, but to say they star in a "porno flick" would be misleading.

The movie was taken during a their honeymoon by none other than Jeff Gillooly. The movie is accurately depicted in the Sep. 1994 issue of Penthouse (the one with the silver cover).

The full movie has turned up in some video stores as a rental item, and was slated to be mailed to the first set of buyers between Sep 1st - 15th, 1994

If you would like your own movie you may buy one directly from Penthouse Magazine by calling 1-800-466-9435 $29.95 is the price. Shipping is extra. Be warned that they will not ship to certain states because obscenity laws.

Answer courtesy of crafty@netcom.com

8.2.3 Did "Opie Get Laid?"

No.

The myth of Ron Howard directing a porn movie probably dates from a talk show interview he did. He jokingly suggested that he would like to make a Porn movie, and the title of "Opie gets Laid" was suggested. Her recently brought this topic up again in his 1994 Playboy interview (an interesting read, IMHO)

However, Ron Howard has never been involved in the adult movie industry.

8.2.4 Has Marina Sirtis done any pornos?

No! No! No! No! No!

Congratulations -- you are reading the answer to this question in the FAQ list, rather than asking on the net, where you would have gotten yourself yelled at by dozens of people. This is by far the most frequently asked question on alt.sex.movies, and the answer is rather convoluted.

The rumor that Marina Sirtis had been in an adult video started here on the Internet. In 1989, when ST:TNG was reaching new heights of popularity, someone posted to rec.arts.pictures.erotica a rather startling picture of a topless Marina Sirtis being whipped by another woman. The person who posted it correctly identified the picture as being from a very stupid mid-1980's thriller called "The Wicked Lady". This movie, while rated R for obvious reasons, was hardly a porn movie, but rumors started up that the posted picture was in fact from a pornographic video.

Soon afterwards, an anonymous picture was posted showing Marina Sirtis apparently performing oral sex on a man. If one looked at the picture closely, it was obvious that the picture had been faked. The body didn't match skin tones with the head properly, and the mouth was open in more of a talking fashion than any sexual position. Still, this picture was distributed widely and the rumor that "Counselor Troi was a porn actress" got its start, even though the poster of the picture admitted later that it was faked!

The rumor continues unabated today. However, searches by literally hundreds of Trekkers have failed to turn up anything. The only movies in which Sirtis appears in states of undress are "Blind Date" (not the one with Bruce Willis), "The Wicked Lady" and Death Wish 2 (or was it 3?). She has never, as far as anyone can determine, been in an adult video. If she has, it has been remarkably well covered up, and considering the rabidness of true Star Trek fans, that seems rather unlikely.

You may find pictures of her from these movies posted to one of the picture newsgroups. (usually alt.binaries.pictures.erotica)

8.2.5 How about Barbra Streisand?

Take this repost as a good indicator of the truth of this rumor:

Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
From: an68050@anon.penet.fi (Dark Man)
Date: Mon, 13 Jun 1994 17:01:03 UTC
Subject: ***Streisand In Hardcore For Sale***

The Buffalo News

May 9, 1993, Sunday, Final Edition

Nose size usually doesn't figure in the popularity of an adult film, but recently a passel of porn-film connoisseurs have been freezing the frames of one crudely made videotape to determine if the skin starlet with an unusually large proboscis is a prefame Streisand.

Erlichman, her manager, says speculation about the poorly made and oft-duplicated skin flick first surfaced in the 1970s. The controversial flick is covered in a new book titled "Biggest Secrets." Author William Poundstone writes about it in a chapter of the William Morrow tome titled "Blue Movies of the Famous."

The grainy quality of the footage -- taken at a time when miniskirts were in fashion -- doesn't help solve the mystery, and, Poundstone writes, the film's origin "is lost in a farrago of repeated duplication. The actress' face is not visible all the time, partly because of the filmmaker's obsession with other parts of her body. . . . While it's not the sharpest film ever shot . . it's someone who looks like Streisand, and actresses with noses that could be mistaken for hers are not common in blue movies."

Though Streisand did not respond to Poundstone's letter asking her to confirm or deny her participation in the film, Erlichman, via his staffers, faxed us a statement: "This is totally fallacious. Barbra has never been in any pornographic film. For anyone to print it, or believe it, is ludicrous."

Streisand reportedly did do a nude scene in the 1970 film "The Owl and the Pussycat," but the scene was deliberately obscured when she objected to its use. And she successfully sued High Society when the skin mag printed crystal-clear shots of the scenes.

This and other fun stuff can be found in the alt.folklore.urban WWW site: ftp://cathouse.org/pub/cathouse/urban.legends/

8.2.5.1 How can I get this movie?

If you're interested, this loop is also available on Blue Vanities 7. Blue Vanities are videos which contain old loops and stags (from 1900 to the late 70s).

Blue Vanities are available from:

Filmfare Video Labs
401 NE Ravenna Blvd.
Suite 156
Seattle, WA 98115
(800) 344-2992

8.2.6 What about Stallone?

Jason Heimbaugh forwarded this along to me from the alt.folklore.urban WWW site...

From: linden@positive.Eng.Sun.COM (Peter van der Linden)
Subject: AFU Party at Kitty & Stallone's

[As I mentioned a year ago, in March 1992]

Sylvester Stallone did indeed get his first movie acting role in a porn movie, called "Party at Kitty and Stud's". This movie came out in 1970, when Sly was but 24 years old, living in Hell's Kitchen, New York City, and working a variety of menial jobs (including cinema usher) while trying to break into the movies. At that time (and still to a lesser extent) New York City was the hub of US porn film making. Stallone is the leading man in this X film, and he later acknowledged in a Playboy interview that he was paid $200 for his role. Unlike his later films, Stallone seems to have had no part in directing or producing "Party at Kitty and Stud's".

Stallone made the most of his break, quickly entering mainstream movies with a role in Woody Allen's "Bananas" the next year. He appeared in six more films before "Rocky" in 1976, which shot him right to the top. The canny Sicilian wrote the script for "Rocky", and sold it for a very low price, on condition that he star in the movie and receive a share of the profits. "Rocky" went on to win 3 Oscars, including best picture. It made Stallone's movie career.

Whoever owned the rights to "Party at Kitty and Stud's" capitalized on Stallone's new-found fame by re-releasing it under the title "The Italian Stallion" (presumably a reference to the protagonist's nickname in Rocky). The credits show that the rights to this X film are owned by "Stallion Enterprises", so they took this theme all the way.

"Party at Kitty and Stud's/The Italian Stallion" started life as a genuine pornographic X film, though it has been brutally edited down -- probably at the time it was retitled and re-released. There is a new prologue where it is implied that they took out the really fun dirty bits for the re-release. It now completely lacks any semblance of a plot, and all hard-core exhibitions, so is somewhat hard to follow. For example, a large mastiff dog appears at one point, but disappears equally as rapidly, leaving the viewer confused about what was to happen next. "Party" seems hilariously dated in some ways too, as it is rife with 60's slang.

At one point Kitty confides to one of her friends that Stud is "so far out" and "animalistic". At another point Sly enjoins Kitty to "be careful! You bit me last time." Kitty replies "I'll be velvetmouthed on your shank of love!" before dissolving into an unscripted fit of giggles only partially concealed by burying her head on Stallone's shank of love. Stallone's best scenes are the ones where he is naked (which is nearly all of them). The highpoint of the film is probably where Stallone assists three women one after the other, although all the overt details are edited out, leaving just the moaning and groaning.

Sly-connoisseurs will note that he has a 4 inch scar on his left thigh under his butt. Far from being a stallion, Sly is actually a man of modest endowment. His muscular frame, lacking its customary coat of oil, looks remarkably unimpressive. Some people claim to see undertones of "Rocky" in "Party", but I couldn't detect any myself, unless they mean the scene where Sly lightly beats Kitty with his pants belt. Sly lacks his trademark sneer, and talks normally in "Party".

It is not unknown for a porn movie performer to cross over into mainstream cinema. I believe Traci Lords has now renounced her porn film past, and can be seen in minor roles on tv e.g. as a dental assistant on "Married With Children".

8.2.6.1 How can I get this movie?

The video is available for rental from The Video Scene, 1401 Foxworthy Ave, San Jose, California (tel 408 265-4002). You can also find it at Videoscope, El Camino Real, Palo Alto, CA. I can't honestly recommend it, but it has a certain novelty value. Perhaps it is best appreciated when played in a (heh!) double-header with "Rocky".

8.2.8 What is with Traci Lords?

Traci Lords is famous because she entered the business (and made many movies) when she was underage.

When her true age was revealed, videos made when she was underage were taken off the shelf. (Some movies were later re-released, with Traci's scenes cut.) To my knowledge, nobody has had to go to jail because of her.

There are a few legal movies of Traci around, which were made after she became of age. (Notably: "Traci... I love You."). Her earlier videos may still be available in Europe, where they have a lower age of consent.

Most recently, Traci has been trying to move away from porn, into the main stream. She has made appearances in Married... With Children, and in several B-grade movies.

For more information, see the Traci Lords bio, available from the Abserver or better yet, the Web site.

20 Snuff Flicks are real, right?

Uh, no. The following is from the alt.folklore.urban archive:

From: phil@rahul.net (Phil Gustafson)
Subject: snopes Hits the Big Time
Date: Thu, 12 Aug 1993 21:56:55 GMT

This morning's edition of Metro, Silicon Valley's bargain-at-twice-the-price free paper, carries a Cecil Adams column on "snuff films" allegedly precipitated by the following two-cent letter:

Is there really such a thing as a snuff film?

--Snopes (sic), Canoga Park, Calif.

Cecil says, in a word, no. Many of the points he makes have been made on this newsgroup many times before, but he comes up with some illuminating specificities:

He also mentions the Zapruder film, "Faces of Death", and other things already bandied about here, and comes to the same conclusion our saner old hats have: "It's not impossible that one will turn up. But the notion that [a whole industry exists] and that for 20 years they've succeeded in concealing all traces of their handiwork strikes me as absurd".

[Quotations cited under fair use; readers should buy Cecil's next book and write nice letters about him to his papers.]

My only questions are these: How much did snopes and Cecil collaborate on this bit, and has anyone ever seen the enigmatic Ed Zotti and the apocryphal David Mikkleson in the same place? And is it Cecil or some copy editor who keeps capitalizing "snopes"?

Phil "UL's at last! UL's at last!" Gustafson


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