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The AFU and Urban Legend Archive Sex batman
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From: andrewst@u.washington.edu (Andrew Steinberg)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Pantsless Batman
Date: 31 May 1994 03:13:12 GMT
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
August 10, 1989, THURSDAY, THREE STAR Edition
SECTION: EVERYDAY MAGAZINE; Pg. 3E
HEADLINE: BATMAN WITH A TWIST LEAPS INTO NORTORIETY
BYLINE: Elaine Viets
BODY:
BECAUSE I have a duty to seek the truth, I spent a lot of time checking out
the story of Batman and the Naked Woman. The public has a right to know.
Keith told me the story first. He heard it happened in St. Clair, a town
about 50 miles from St. Louis. ''It was late at night,'' Keith said,
''and this off-duty St. Clair policeman heard screams coming from the
house next door. ''The police officer ran over, went inside, and found
the wife tied up. The husband was passed out on the bed, wearing a smile
and a Batman outfit.'' And she was dressed as Robin? ''She wasn't dressed
at all. They were husband and wife. He liked to dress up as Batman and
rescue her. He jumped on the bed, hit his head on the ceiling fan and
knocked himself out. She began screaming for help. The poor woman was
really embarrassed. And he had to go to the hospital.'' I'll never say
small towns are dull again. ''But I don't think it happened in St.
Clair,'' Keith said. ''The next day I heard the same Batman story on the
radio. Except they said it happened in Dallas. Then I heard it was in New
York. Guys dressed as Batman can't be knocking themselves out all over
America.''
Leaping Lizards! Can this really be happening in middle America? Or is some Joker spreading Bat lies? ''I think it's an urban legend,'' Keith said. ''It's spreading because the Batman movie is so big this summer.'' Thank goodness there are still some decent Americans. There's no funny business going on in the Bat rooms of St. Clair. Or if there is the police don't know about it. Chief Leon Via proved the police can remain cool in any situation. He hardly snickered at all when I told him the Bat story that supposedly happened in St. Clair. ''That's a new one,'' he said. ''Let me ask.'' He put me on hold, asked his officers, and then came back on the line. ''Everyone's still rolling around on the floor laughing,'' the chief said. ''But no one knows anything about it. We've seen some strange stuff here, but we haven't progressed to that.''
So much for the facts, ma'am. Now for the legend. Urban legend expert Jan Harold Brunvand said the Batman legend has been hanging around for quite some time. Brunvand has tracked the story to such faraway places as London and New Zealand.'' It turned up in England in 1988,'' Brunvand said. ''With the Batman movie, it may be the hot new urban legend. ''He's usually playing at 'rescuing' a fair maiden. Sometimes the guy dresses as Batman, other times as Tarzan, Spider-Man- and of course, under the circumstances, Superman.'' The superhero may hit his head on the ceiling fan, or knock himself out leaping from a chest of drawers. ''I'm afraid to ask what it means,'' Brunvand said. ''It may be a warning that respectable people should be careful, even when they're in the privacy of their homes. ''Maybe it's about bad luck. Or Bat luck. ''There are legends about couples who videotape themselves doing interesting things, then return the wrong tape to the rental store. This story also takes place in a small town, so the whole town sees it. ''You know what I think? People tell stories that are a lot more interesting than the things they actually do.'' You're probably right. But someday I'll tell you about my meter maid costume.
The Seattle Times
January 21, 1990, Sunday, Final Edition
SECTION: TRAVEL; Pg. J1
LENGTH: 861 words
HEADLINE: THE ABSURD WORLD OF TRAVEL -- STRANGE BUT TRUE TALES OF HOTEL, AIRLINEESCAPADES
BYLINE: BY PETER GREENBERG
BODY:
It is time once again to celebrate the absurd, the ridiculous, the hystericaland the bizarre events of travel in 1989 - the strange but true things that happened while we attempted to get from point A to point B.
So, without further fanfare, here are my selections for the year that was:
Earlier this year, a security guard patrolling an upscale Boston hotel heard screams coming from a woman in one of the guest rooms. "Help," she yelled. "I'm trapped!"
The guard summoned an assistant manager, who rushed to open the door with the master key.
He found the woman, tied to the bed, nude. On the floor a few feet away from the bed, lying unconscious, was the woman's boyfriend dressed in a Batman outfit.
The assistant manager got the woman a robe and untied her. A doctor was summoned for the boyfriend.
When he was revived, the hotel staff learned what had happened: the man had taken his girlfriend to the hotel, then announced that he wanted to romance her "like Batman."
He tied her to the bed, went into the bathroom and changed into his Batman suit.
When he left the bathroom, he tried to fly to the bed and hit his head on the ceiling, knocking himself out.
Chicago Tribune
January 30, 1990, Tuesday, NORTH SPORTS FINAL EDITION
SECTION: TEMPO; Pg. 3; ZONE: C
LENGTH: 570 words
HEADLINE: How Batman learned he shouldn't fly
BYLINE: Ann Landers
BODY:
Dear Ann Landers: After reading your recent column on how bondage enhances people's sex lives, I knew I had to share this true story.
It seems a couple sitting on their back porch enjoying a lovely summer evening were startled by blood-curdling screams for help coming from their neighbors' home.
After dialing 911 and arming themselves with a baseball bat, the couple proceeded to their neighbors' house to assist in any way they could. As luck would have it, the front door was unlocked, so they walked right in. They followed the frantic calls for help to an upstairs bedroom, where they found theneighbor lady stark naked and tied hand and foot to her bed. On the floor lay her husband, unconscious, wearing a batman cape and mask.
It became apparent that the couple was into both bondage and fantasies. Mr. Batman had attempted to leap from the dresser onto the bed. In the process he bumped his head on the ceiling fan and went out like a light.
The couple untied Mrs. Batman, revived Mr. Batman and took him to the hospital, where he was treated for a superficial head injury and released.
This little episode certainly gives new meaning to the term "safe sex." A Minnesota Reader
Dear Min: It sure does. Thanks for my laugh of the day.
***And finally a personal note. I heard this story over the syndicated Paul Harvey radio "news" program.
Andrew Steinberg
U. of Washington
(Ann Landers takes the bait, again.)
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