The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
Medical
Organ Theft
 kidney theft tube 




Subject:      Re: Organ traffic in Palermo, Italy

From:         ekelly@acpub.duke.edu (Emily Kelly)

Date:         1997/02/15

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban

In article <5e2qat$hhk@panix.com>, Ian A. York <iayork@panix.com> wrote: >Emily Kelly <ekelly@acpub.duke.edu> wrote:
>>
>>I dunno; the bathtub version just recently developed that tube sticking
>>out of the victim's back--it seems to be going strong and developing a
>
>I thought we'd seen that at least a year ago, but I can't confirm that
>with a quick trip through DejaNews.

The bathtub filled with ice, certainly; but I remember being newly tickled by the detail about the tube just a couple months ago, around Christmas and New Year.

>Mind you, I also can't find most of
>the recent versions of this either, so my search is obviously lacking
>something.

Heh. When I tried searching for "kidney & bathtub & tube", all I came up with were a couple posts to alt.sex.masturbation about Hilarious Penis Names. But "kidney & bathtub" worked quite well, with the appropriate database and display settings. Of course, I know I've heard the bathtub version of the kidney UL far more times than I found it in DejaNews, so it's quite possible that I missed some juicy first sightings.

Warning: Overly long summary of my Valentine's date with DejaNews follows. If you want to stop reading here, that's okay, but you'll have to skip to the bottom if you want to read my witty epenthetic. Also note that I didn't find any tube references on DejaNews until January, 1997 when the latest "Warning to Travellers!!" New Orleans-set version of the UL started cropping up.

Okay, here goes:

A few minutes with DejaNews shows that the first icy bathtub sighting stored there was posted to alt.books.larry-niven on 1/1/96 <4c9her$mbb@nntp.ucs.ubc.ca>. It follows up to this quote (not available
on DejaNews):

In article <4bkm5d$p78@DGS.dgsys.com>, salgak@dgs.dgsys.com (Keith Glass) wr ites:

-> They are a LITTLE more sophisticated here: I've heard of several cases -> where a guy meets a girl, they go to her room.... and he passes out. -> He wakes up hours later in a bathtub full of ice, a metal pan -> underneath him, and a phone handy, with a note to call 911 and tell them -> he's had a kidney removed: this supposedly prevents charges of attempted -> murder from being filed. . . .

DejaNews has many many other articles that pretty much mirror this telling, starting with one on 2/21/96 <4gftnf$mke@charlotte.wellesley.edu> which isn't very detailed but which features a "huge incision in her back that was stitched up"[1]. One on March 27 <4jb83s$880@adonis.tdi.net>, set in Las Vegas, has the 911 operator telling the victim to look for wounds, "and sure enough he has stitches in his lower back". There was a particularly lurid retelling posted on April 1, also in Vegas, with the victim awaking in the bathtub (no ice mentioned) "covered in his own blood. Scrawled in lipstick on the mirror [2] were the words, "If you're still alive, call 911"." [3] This version also specifically mentions staples in the victim's back. Another Vegas-set post to AFU from August 21 <4ve0nf$p8e@news.campus.mci.net> seems from the 911 message ("If you can read this call 911") to be descended from this version; it also ties in Roofies, at least in the subject line, as what knocked the victim out.

A May 23 post to soc.culture.somalia <4o2n8d$smb@news.jf.intel.com>, set in Las Vegas, also mentions the victim finding staples when he feels his back; the message this time says "IF YOU WANT TO LIVE DIAL 911". The same version was posted to umich.groups.fcsa on May 30 <4okdqc$qdc@lastactionhero.rs.itd.umich.edu>, and on September 7 to
bit.listserv.transplant <50qage$h3u@trellis.wwnet.com>.

On May 12th, a touchingly sincere, beautifully detailed, and by now mind-numbingly familiar tale was posted <3196810F.227A@ns.net> to sac.general, ba.general, ca.general, folsom.general, and eldorado.general. The locale is not specified, but the victim awakens with "CALL 911 OR YOU WILL DIE" written on his chest in lipstick. Astonishingly, the 911 operator tells him "to get out of the tub. He did, and she asked him to look himself over in the mirror. He did, and appeared normal, so she told him to check his back. He did, only to find two 9 inch slits on his lower back. She told him to get back in the tub immediately, and they sent a rescue team over."[4]

The identical story was posted on May 16 to alt.drunken.bastard <4ngsge$44t@nnrp1.news.primenet.com>, and on May 19 to misc.emerg-services
<199605191831.SAA27090@CyberGate.COM>, where it was squashed by our own
danny burstein, among others. AFU has an indirect retelling on August 8 <1996Aug6.184600.8059@galileo.cc.rochester.edu>, and it's posted verbatim
to AFU on October 24 <01bbc178$91cd2e80$8185eea5@bigjim>, to bit.listserv.christia on November 1 <199611020328.DAA49772@garlic.com>, to talk.rumors on November 4 <327E1549.1D4D@bnr.ca>, to AFU again on November 15 <328b5270.173427002@207.126.101.79>, to misc.education.medical also on November 15 <ibhan-1511961344280001@infobhan.med.harvard.edu>, to alt.comedy.standup [7] on December 5
<19961205151800.KAA28972@ladder01.news.aol.com>, to mail.cypherpunks on
December 6 <$m2n19645-.9612062156.AA26710@cow.net> (these last two apparently both stem from a printed telling of the variant in "The Daily Texan", the U. Texas newspaper), to misc.emerg-services also on December 6 <32A90763.62B2@communique.net>, to bit.listserv.snurse-L on December 10 <Pine.OSF.3.95.961210175155.16391A-100000@is2.nyu.edu>, and again to AFU, on December 10 <58kido$nh2@kick.lm.com> and January 13, 1997 <32DA65CB.E29@hostare.ho.att.com> (these last three
share a forwarding note saying, "The attached was forwarded to me by the DISA safety rep. The story was passed on to him and he has asked us to share with as many people as possible"). This version is more stubbornly xerox-lorish than many of the others, and it tends to go by the title "Reason Not To Party", especially earlier in 1996.[8]

On July 13, a bare-bones AFU post <4s90ig$l8o@usenetp1.news.prodigy.com> sets the story in New Orleans seemingly for the first time, but otherwise it's similar to the standard Vegas telling. A more detailed post to AFU from January 17, 1997 <19970117163901.LAA16818@ladder01.news.aol.com> is also set in New Orleans, and is couched as a warning to travellers. This is the version where we first see the victim finding a tube protruding from him back. The identical version was posted verbatim to bit.listserv.cloaks-Daggers on January 24 <n1358030718.4410@cpqm.saic.com>, again to AFU on January 28
<5cl098$gfk$1@news.ececs.uc.edu>, January 29 <5cnv16$f3n@newshost.nmt.edu>,
and January 30 <Pine.OSF.3.91.970130165307.21423E-10000@ucs.orst.edu>. A January 29 post of the identical warning to AFU and alt.fan.cecil-adams <32f19059.11551159@news.interport.net> has a long list of forwarding
comments, one of which mentions kidney theft incidents having occurred 7 times in Atlanta, of all places. There are lots of other recent sightings of this version, and I'm too lazy to type any more in. It seems to be the current one going.

An April 3 AFU post <4jul7o$nsk@newsbf02.news.aol.com> places the standard Vegas-style story in Florida. A more interesting September 21 AFU post <51vha4$m1l@test-sun.erols.com> sets the tale in New York in the aftermath
of a bachelor party[6], fills the bathtub with cold water instead of ice, and adds that the victim (the groom) "ends up dying an hour later". December 20th there's an AFU post that sets the story in Tijuana, has a sailor from San Diego as the victim, and has the message "Call 9-1-1" scrawled on the mirror in lipstick.

An odd variant posted to AFU August 23 <321DA94E.5A4B@norden1.com>, also set in Vegas, mentions a bathtub full of saline solution[5] and features a female victim. The note informs her, "Your kidneys have been removed. Call 911".

Still reading? I'm amazed and gratified. I'm also heartily sick of DejaNews. Good night one and all.

Emily "so I lied about the witty epenthetic part" Kelly

[1] This was one of only two bathtub versions I found in DejaNews that

had a female victim.

[2] "Welcome to the world of AIDS", anyone?

[3] This is the first time DejaNews shows that particular wording for

the message.

[4] Gotta love the storytelling cadence of all those "He did, ..."

sentence beginnings.

[5] Wouldn't that be hideously expensive? I know what I pay for just one

little squeeze bottle of the damn stuff.

[6] Woo hoo! Wedding-gone-awry motif!

[7] Though, sadly, not by Tim Shell.

[8] You know, the begats section of the Old Testament was always one

of my favorites.


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