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From: iayork@panix.com (Ian A. York)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Flowers of evil
Date: 16 Aug 1996 15:25:17 -0400

The AFU FAQ (http://tafkac.org/) says:

F. Flowers are bad in hospital rooms because they suck oxygen out of air.

The Guthrie Journal (the journal of the Donald Guthrie Foundation for Education and Research, a peer-reviewed medical journal) has an intermittent feature consisting of little reminiscences from elderly physicians who knew or worked with the eponymous Guthrie. From Vol. 65/Number 3 (Summer 1996), p. 123-124, by Arthur B. King, MD.

Flowers and Care of the Sick

[I omit the first page, which consists of bleary-eyed nostalgia in re the greenhouse that used to stand on the grounfds of the Robert Packer hospital.]

Flowers continue to be seen in relative abundance in the hospital, but they are now more sanitized, chilled, brought in from great distances, and have an artificial appearance. It is still not clear what part they play in medicine and the care of the sick. The only "scientific" study I have seen on this subject was composed by a curmudgeon who authoritatively stated that flowers depleted the oxygen content of the patient's cubicle and thereby added to his woes and dangers. No figures were given and, in view of the daily fluctuation of the barometer, I think this conclusion is far fetched. Surely this "scientific report" must have been written by a person who did not care for the very successful sex mechanism used by nature and was more concerned with the unwanted duty of finding a container with water to preserve the floral display.

A colleague informs me of another earnest guardian of our health who determined that flowers exuded carbon dioxide at night which resulted in additional labor for nurses having to remove flowers each night from the patient's room. Since carbon dioxide is a normal component of the atmosphere, careful volumetric measurements are necessary to validate the calim that the patients were jeopardized. The alleged rise in the volume of the benign gas was not forthcoming.

Still another report made the Earth-shattering disclosure that the bacterium _Pseudomonas aeruginosa_ was a resident of flowers and lettuce. He immediately raised the alarm and urged the banishment of flowers and salads from the hospital environs. It was only after saner heads realized that this particular bacterium had been living in symbiotic relationship with man since he arose from primeval ooze and that its presnce on natural blooms did not really jeopardize man's presence on this sphere. Flowers in the patient's room were once again spared.

He gives no references, and considering his mangling of science here I don't think I'd trust his diagnosis anyway, but at any rate it's a reporting of the legend; and maybe the papers he refers to really do exist.

ian