The AFU & Urban Legends Archive

Since 1991

Aren't you tired of everyone bragging about the "awards" their pages have won from some pissant little "company" whose sole purpose is the handing out of "awards" for every web page known to Alta Vista? I'm certainly tired of receiving email about "awards" people think I will be "proud" to display along with an ACTUAL IMAGE I CAN USE TO LINK BACK TO THEIR PAGES! Gimme a break -- these pissant little "companies'" "awards" end up being great circle references to each other. Also, you never know how these "awards" were chosen: random people submitting votes to make 75% of the web in the Top 5% or some select group of wankers who needed something to do once their pissant little "company" received its domain name. Awarding web page "awards" is the greatest adventure in digital masturbation since fingers were added to our hands.

So in no uncertain terms: we have won the prestigous "Jason Award" for our http://tafkac.org/ web pages. In accordance with the rules for winning we must list the following rules:

  • In order to be fair, at any time there is only one site that will be awarded the "Jason Award". Previous winners must remove all mention once a successor has been awarded.
  • The awarded site will be the site determined as the single best site on the web.
  • To eliminate cheating by allowing people to vote for themselves, the "Jason Award" will be selected by Jason R. Heimbaugh by himself.
  • Any wanker who submits his web page for consideration for the "Jason Award" will have his domain name aliased to members.aol.com. (I have "friends" at InterNIC.)

Anyone getting this far and still wanting to send in a notification of an "award" these pages have "won" or wishing to nominate themselves for the "Jason Award" should run as fast as possible and fill out this form.

Any proceeds (net proceeds from merchandise sales) from TAFKAC solely benefit The Chuck Reed Fund.

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