AFU/Snide/Current/lurrrvvvve connection

The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
AFU
Snide
Current
lurrrvvvve connection

From: warinner@flood.xnet.com (Robert Warinner)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: AFU Luurrrrrvvvve Connection!
Date: 24 Oct 1996 19:46:51 GMT

Welcome to AFU Luurrrrrvvvve Connection! The game show that helps people fall in love!

Our regular host, Ewan Kirk, is indisposed, but let's give a big AFU welcome to Bob Eubanks who will be standing in for him!

Thanks Jay! I am happy to be here today and get the chance to test our contestants knowledge of urban folklore and help them meet the mate of their dreams!

Let's bring out contestants!

First, welcome Sylvia T. Paldhan! Sylvia comes to us by way of alt.politics.white-power. She's a little shy about appearing in AFU and she hasn't read the FAQ, but give her a big AFU welcome anyway!

<*plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk*>

Sylvia T. Paldhan (pald1208@tao.sosc.osshe.edu) wrote: : However, even though you have my e-mail, I am not
: dating, especially not the MTV-brash, sorry. (Console yourself that I'm
: much too old for you.)
: :) Sylvia

Sylvia, wait until you see the two hot guys we have lined up for you! Meet George Johnston!

<*plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk* *plonk*>

We don't know how George got here, but it's obvious he enjoys the witty repartee on AFU!

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : Who said this asshole? I'm in here every nite reading articles!

Now, now, George!

Let's meet Bachelor #2: Ian A. York!

Regular watchers of AFU Luurrrrrvvvve Connection know that in addition to being a bad poet, Ian is very handy with MedLine cites!

It's time for our FAQ quiz! Shake hands, and may the best man win! Gentlemen, please take your places in the sound-proofed isolation booths!

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : Hey, sunshine, I'm not the one sitting around reading gay poetry!
: Sorry, bub, but I'm not into cuddles by guys!

The first question is to you Mr. York: rate the voracity of "That'd be the butt, Bob."

Ian A. York (iayork@panix.com) wrote:
: F.

That's correct!

Now to Mr. Johnston: rate the voracity of "That'd be the butt, Bob."

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : I give, up you tell me, you seem to have all the answers!

George, haven't you read the FAQ?

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : Pal, get off your high horse. I have not seen a faq on this group
: detailing netiquette or anything else.

George, please give me your answer.

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : Another dictator. I'm telling you it is not in this newsgroup. If it
: is you clowns have hidden it well!

One last chance, George. What is the voracity of "That'd be the butt, Bob."?

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : You guys have fun now, too many fags in here!

I'm sorry but I can't accept that answer. Ian A. York wins the first chance to woo Sylvia T. Paldhan! What do you think, Sylvia?

Sylvia T. Paldhan (pald1208@tao.sosc.osshe.edu) wrote: : I'm amusing myself watching the replies, then I have no further interest.

Ian A. York (iayork@panix.com) wrote:
: Will you marry me if I offer you )))((( a bouquet of parentheses?

Wow! Ian doesn't waste any time! Sylvia, what do you have to say to Ian?

Sylvia T. Paldhan (pald1208@tao.sosc.osshe.edu) wrote: : My breath is taken away! A Rennaisance man!!!
: Pleasure for at least a month!!! Thank you for existing (no kidding)!

Ian seems to have impressed Sylvia! Don't be discouraged, George. Canadians have traditionally done well on AFU Luurrrrrvvvve Connection! What do you have to say to Sylvia?

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : Great, now a bimbo joins the fray!

OK! Now's up to the readers of AFU! Just select Ian A. York or George Johnston for our Fabulous Dream Date with Sylvia T. Paldhan! Here are the results:

George Johnston - 97.6%
Ian A. York - 2.4%

Congratulations George!

Jay, where will be they be going on their Fabulous Dream Date?

Bob, they've won 50 free hours on AOL in an exclusive private chat room with bbob/einst/steven, Matthew P. Weiner, Mr. Equality, and many others!

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : I don't think so. I'm not going anywhere.

Well, George, the alternate prize is a one-way ticket to the Usenet Global Killfile. It's your choice!

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) wrote: : Right, right, right, you do it your way, I'll do it mine.

OK!

George Johnston (ab291@chebucto.ns.ca) <*plonk*> Sylvia T. Paldhan (pald1208@tao.sosc.osshe.edu) <*plonk*>

Tune in next week for AFU Luurrrrrvvvve Connection's Tournament of Champions featuring Barbara Hamel, snopes, Paul Tomblin and Vicki Robinson!

Andrew "Executive Producer" Warinner

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