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The AFU and Urban Legend Archive AFU Snide universal conspiracy against everything
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The AFU and Urban Legend Archive AFU Snide universal conspiracy against everything
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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: susanm@indirect.com (Susan C. Mitchell)
Subject: Re: alt.folklore.urban Frequently Asked Questions [Part 3 of 4]
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 1995 09:02:59 GMT
An old friend of mine, Joe Bethancourt, gave me permission to post this little item that he wrote up. (You'd better appreciate this, I typed it in BY HAND.)
THE UNIVERSAL CONSPIRACY AGAINST EVERYTHING
-The Whyte Bard
After a lot of reading within the "Conspiracy Theory of History" folk of all stripes and flavors, I have drawn up this little chart showing "The Universal Conspiracy Against Everything." Since most of these folks don't seem to agree on much, I have done my best to chart it -all,- both "left" and "right" wing......if your favorite conspiratorial group is not listed, stick it in -anywhere-....with enough tortured logic, you can find a connection to -anything-. EVERYTHING in here has been listed, at one time or another, by some group or another, as a "conspiratorial" group.
The Devil
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|------|---Cain------|---------------------Indo-Europeans
| | | |
| Arabs Biblical Giants-------Hittites-----|
| | | | |
| | Babylonian Mystery Religion Sun-Worshippers
| | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | Pagans
Blacks | |---|---Merovingians |--------Hindus |
| | | | | | | | |
| | The Protocols of the Elders of Zion OTO
| | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | The Yellow Peril |
| | The Illuminatti--| | | | |
| | | | | |--|--|-Santa Claus-------Elves
|--|---|-The Ismailians---| | | | |
| | | | | Fu Manchu | |
| | |---|-Rosicrucians-|--|---------Elvis Satanism
| | | | | | | |----| | |
| Shriners| |---Catholics | | | | |
| | | | | Easter | Space The
| |---Masons | Cathars Bunny | Aliens-----Pope
| | | | | | | | |
| |----Templars---------| | | Rock |
| | || | | The |-----and Proctor
| Mormons || Carbonari Media--| |-Roll and
| | || | | | | | Gambel Inc
| Girl Scouts| Protestants | TIME | | |
| | || | | Inc. | Evolutionists------Science
| | |---The Hell-Fire Club | | | | | |
| | | | | Theosophy---Free Love--Golden Dawn |
| YWCA/YMCA | Country | | | Mad
| | | Music EST Hippies Smurfs Scientists
Turks | | | | | | |
| ||--The World Bank Foreigners | Scientology |
| || | | | Harvey | | |
| The UN-----Communists Facists Krishnas | | Computer
| | | | | | | | Nerds
| The Military/Industrial GM/Ford TM |-----Thelema | |
Opium | Complex | | | | | | |
| | | | Crown of England UFOs | | | |
| Eastern Liberal Establishment | | | Your Great-Aunt Tillie
| | | | Republicans | | | | |
| The Medical Establishment | Science Fiction--|-----|--Cthulhu
| | | | EEC | | | |
| The Psychiatric Establishment | | | Women's Lib |
| | | | | Gurus | New York
| Homosexuals | Nazi Pagans | | |--Atheists----| City
| | | Identity----| |--------New Agers-| | |
|----NAACP | Movement | | | | |-Abortionists |
Black | | Bar coding BBSes | | |
Muslims | California | | | Neo- Criminals San
NEA---Liberals---Ecologists--Yuppies | Pagans | Francisco
| | | | | | | |
Moonies |--Animal Rights--|----------Wicca-----Renaissance |
| | | Faires--------|
New World Order Anybody not in your sect-----| |
| | |----non "KJV onlys"
|----------THE BEAST 666 ARMAGEDDON
(When your sect goes to Heaven,
and all the rest of them go to
Hell. Nyahh! Nyahh!)
(NOTE: to those of an excitable nature, the preceding is a SATIRE. It is NOT INTENDED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! OK? Reprint rights are granted. Send a copy c/o PO Box 35190, Phoenix AZ 85069.)
As I said, typed in by hand, verbatim. All spellings as in the
original. Thanks, Joe!
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