The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
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 good cop bad cop




Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: abw@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley)
Subject: Re: AFU Newbies; Read and Heed
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 1995 13:36:25 GMT

This is WNCFCZF-TV, it's 9.30 and time for this week's episode of "Good Cop, Bad Cop".

[ Titles roll with that oh-so-funky soundtrack. Oh I dig that funky wah-wah and scratch me some more Hammond my man! We see car chases, lights flashing, lush babes. This stuff is HOT! The screen splits and on the left hand side we see a devilishly handsome Scot. A tad balding, but packing a big piece (and I'm not talking .44). The crappy typewriter kinda font tells us this is Ewan Kirk playing Lt. "Nicey Nicey" Poster. On the right now, we see a young studmuffin. Bronzed up in nothing but a skimpy but bulging thong. The girls drool. This is Andy Wardley as Lt. "Nasty Nasty" Poseur. "And also starring..." (the screen parts to reveal a most lush babe) "Patricia Helena-Bangtrap as Sookie Pussyfoot". Phew! What a sidekick! What a scorcher! "And together they are..... Good Cop Bad Cop" ]

Scene 1 opens with a bright light. Camera pans back to see Nicey and Nasty interrogating a suspect.

Nasty: Look you snivelling little jerk, tell us where you hid the

AFUDork-o-Bot and I'll go easy on you.

[ Suspect craps his pants ]

Nicey: Look, you're my best mate, and I love your posts, nah I mean it, 

       but we want to help you.  If you want us to help you, you have to 
       learn to help yourself.  The best way to help yourself is to
       help us by telling us what we want to know.  You wouldn't want me
       to leave my psychotic partner alone with you, would you?

Nasty: Sod this, I'm gasping for a pint. Let's just beat the crap out of

the little fuck!

Nicey: Yeah OK mate, good idea. I've had it with this nicey nicey shit.

*pummel*

Sookie: Anyone fancy a shag?

Suspect: Gmmmppphhh!

Sookie: No, not you!

All: Ha ha ha ha!

[ Next week Nasty and Nicey play more Good Cop, Bad Cop with unsuspecting idiots and Sookie gets her breasts augmented ]

Andy "Nasty Nasty" Wardley


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