The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
AFU
Snide
 insecticidal properties of ice beer




From: linden@positive.eng.sun.com (Peter van der Linden)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,rec.arts.drink
Subject: The beer insecticide
Date: 24 Sep 1994 03:34:06 GMT

What time is it on AFU?
Why, it's wacky letter time again, boys & girls & professors.

August 30, 1994

Dear Sirs

Re: Superiority of your "Ice Beer" product

I am a keen gardening enthusiast, and I recently discovered an unexpected use for your Ice Beer product.

As you may know, a time-honored remedy against garden pests is to put out a dish of beer in the evening. Slugs and other unwanted creatures are drawn to the beer, climb in and perish. Two nights ago, we tried your Ice Beer brand as the bait in our slug-beer trap.

Anheuser-Busch Ice Beer provided far and away the most successful results we have ever had. Not only did we attract one dozen slugs (usual score: four), we also got a snail, a centipede, and two earwigs! And all of them killed by drowning or ice beer overdose.

Perhaps there is some way to mention in your advertising campaigns the pest-attracting and insecticidal properties of your beer? I feel sure other gardeners will benefit greatly from using your product.

Yours faithfully,

Peter van der Linden

The answer was most disappointing. Obviously the giant and faceless Buschless-Aschluss corporation is uncomfortable discussing the insect-killing properties of their products.

Sept 12 1994

Mr van der Linden

Thank you for your recent letter about the insecticidal properties of our beer. We are always happy to hear from our customers Although we appreciate your success with Ice Draft from Budweiser in your garden, we also hope you have enjoyed Ice Draft's fine taste (sic) first hand.

Ice Draft is the newest member of the Bud Family, and is brewed ... [blah blah entire paragraph of puff deleted].

Once again, thank you for your comments and interest in Anheuser-Busch products.

Best Regards, 

        Michael E. LaBroad
        Sr Brand Manager
        Ice Draft/Ice Draft Light

Anheuser-Busch Inc,
One Busch Place
St Louis, MO 63118-1852.

If that's the best that a major brewery can do, no wonder their products are crap.

--
Peter van der Linden linden@Eng.sun.com "Thank you for your letter about the insecticidal properties of our beer"




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