The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
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 honeymoon advice




From: "Len Berlind" <p00881@psilink.com>
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Please help me with my party
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 94 12:28:31 -0400

>My fiance and I will be hosting the rehearsal dinner the night before
>our wedding...

[plea for dessert suggestions]

>Please help! I am so tired of making decisions.

>--Mary who can't wait for the honeymoon

I thought about this one, I swear I did. But she did choose to post it to a.f.u. I assume that the lady is sincere, that she really is in a premarital tizzy. Trying desparately to hold things together and at the same time dealing with all the sexual tension and family squabbles and those Bridesmaids who can't get together on a dress and the Best Man's a grotesque drunk and what to do about Uncle Billy and his penchant for young Altar Boys remember when Susie got married and Uncle Billy groped that little boy Oh God what I will I do if he does it again I'll just die and do I really want get married I mean there's all those other guys out there that one on the motorcycle I can't stop thinking about him and Mom told me not to expect anything too great in bed just go along with it and make believe it feels good...

So with all that and more on your mind, my dear, why not make it simple? Spumoni or Tortoni in keeping with the Italianate theme gets my vote. Turn your thoughts to more important things. Keep your toothbrush with you at all times and take plenty of pictures.

--Len


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