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 convoluted faqs i




Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: dw@unislc.slc.unisys.com (Dan Wright)
Subject: Convoluted FAQs Part I [REPOST]
Date: Wed, 10 Nov 1993 21:19:45 GMT

The DOS shareware "text paraphraser" named Mark V. Shaney digests a sample of writing then tries to deliver a parody. I fed it the meat of our FAQ, and it pooped out reams of gobbledygook, some of which almost made sense. Before reading this, remember back to the last time you read the FAQ all the way through.

. "Little Mermaid" and Coca-Cola taken together get you drunk faster

than Star Trek.
. "Newlywed Game" husband responds that he can receive radio signals. . Carthief squashed dead under elephant as couple drives away. . Cessna planes aren't sold in hospital rooms. . Chocolate makes people like to vacuum. . Gangster John Dillinger's long wang is pickled in eucalyptus leaves. . JFK said he'd pet Zsa Zsa's pussy if they were on a blind date. . LSD accumulates in open wound; months later you find msg

"Welcome to bright light"
. Rats cannot sing while receiving fellatio. . Sheesh! Sorry to smell like the _Parade_ magazine. . Stoned babysitter injured by eating hotdogs from crystal decanter. . Tomatoes are riddled with semi-secret utility tunnels. . Traffic lights can transmit a good drawing of a penis. . Twinkies can be seen from space.
. Wife has intestines sucked out due to optical illusion. . Woman found with ax in Los Alamos labs. Yowser! . Woman on ship/airline toilet has found a man's hand. . Your ancestors COULD come back "overnight" as aborted babies.

I'll be re-posting Convoluted FAQs II (the sequel) in a couple days.




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