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From: PAPAI@kcgl1.eng.ohio-state.edu (Jonathan Papai)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Re: Voracity
Date: 16 Nov 1993 00:16:35 GMT

vjrnts@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (Vicki Robinson) writes:

> I think this is a question that deserves serious debate, here. We all know
> that the lowly newbie is barely evolved enough to breathe oxygen (through the
> skinwhen skydiving) and that the oOld Hats are already partially in
> hyperspace, but what are the gradations in rank? Can one actually get there
> from here? And where do we weenies fit in?

Re: evolving from newbie to weiner status:

If you have to be told that you've made the move, then you're on the wrong track. Moves up the heirarchy are something that must be self-realized.

Clues that you are moving up the evolutionary ladder toward old-hat status, in no particular order:

0) You come to realize that aBMeyars may not be a newbie any-more, but he will always remain an annoying weiner.

1. A post of yours causes a thread to diverge off into a completely new direction with some followup by old-hats.
2. A frequent poster sends email noting that something you wrote caused them some embarrasment when they laughed out loud at an inappropriate time.
3. e-mail from a typically obnoxious poster* noting a factual error you've made. But, since you are usually a worthwhile poster, they wish not to cause you public embarrasment by posting the correction. * snopes, Ted Frank, and I are prototypical examples.
4. You make a catch with a truly clever troll, not just the same old nonsense.
5. e-mail with some clever follow-up to an interesting post recieved from a first-generation old hat such as:

Bruce Tindall
Peter Van Der Linden
Terry Chan
Bob O'Bob
Phil Gustaffson
Cindy Kandolf
Bill Nelson
snopes

6) You become involved in a flame/baiting war with some idiots crossposting non-UL nonsense from some useless newsgroup.

7) Your name is listed in the body of the FAQ list with some stupid anecdote.

8) Your name is listed at the end of the FAQ list.

9) You are assumed dead.

10) Your name is listed as a possible attendant in an ad for an AFU regional convention, before you are even contacted.

11) You begin to actually understand what the linguistics postings are about.

12) Posts are made threatening you with bodily harm.

13) Posts or email are made threatening legal action.

14) Posts are made calling you distinctive unflattering names.

15) Others come to your defense in cases 12-14.

16) You make an appearance on radio/tv discussing UL's.

17) Your name is quoted in a newspaper article regarding UL's or AFU.

18) You quote some reliable source, with cite, to support your side in an argument.

19) You no longer feel silly putting a middle name in quotes at the bottom of your postings.

True old-hat status probably requires a score of about 17 of 20 of the above.

I believe it is possible to move from newbie all the way to Old-Hat.

Training, vitamins, belief in yourself, and luck are all that is needed.

> Vicki "Will eat ween...., well, no, actually not" Robinson

Oh, proper nutrition is important also.

Jon "Hmm. Now I'm hungry." Papai
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