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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: ewan@kirk.demon.co.uk (Ewan Kirk)
Subject: Ah FUK 2.5 release alpha report
Date: Tue, 20 Sep 1994 22:25:58 +0000

AFU UK 2.5 Report

The AFU they said couldn't happen. Nobody flew in from Burma, nobody bought hugely expensive tickets to be there (except Andy who came all the way from Wimbledon).

Picture the scene: a dark, wet, windy night in old London town. I am waiting in a disgusting pub on Fleet street. The Tipparary.

Andy "I've got a tiny winky" Wardley arrives. For all those chicks out there who are gagging for a description of Andy, all I can say is that he doesn't live up to his advance publiclity....

Much alcohol is consumed. Tony "lurker" Sweeney arrives. An extremely large amount of alcohol is consumed in about 20 minutes before the pub closes. I suggested Brick Lane for a curry but Andy and Tony wimped out complaining about the salmonella statistics. More beer is consumed. We decide to go to a poncy Curry house in Covent Garden.

Andy and Tony spend the entire time in the poncy curry house complaining about the ponciness of the curry house. We eat curry (although no chapatis). Tony fails miserably finishing a Chicken Tikka Vindaloo. Andy "tiny winky but hollow legs" Wardley finishes the left overs. We drink beer. Tony orders 3 bottles of something. We drink them. The conversation turns to sex. We drink more beer. The cost of the beers and curry is lost in some expenses account. We decide to go to a pub. Next door. We drink beer. I drink whiskey rather than whisky. It's ok. We talk about sex and farting. More beer is drunk. We get very drunk indeed. More beer is drunk. I smoke a cigar and feel like shit. We drink more beer and talk about sex, women and beer. Tony offers Andy a job (or maybe that happened before, I forget). I direct Andy to a Tube station, and I get a taxi to Liverpool Street station. I sit on a train typing this.

So, that really sums up Ahhhh FUK 2.5. Beer and discussions of sex and women. Ok, we might not have had people from all over the world, people might not have been sleeping on anybody's floor: but, there were no bus tickets, nobody went home at 8pm, everybody drank a **huge** quantity of alcohol and I'm so pissed I can barely type.

Vicki-I couldn't get a picture of his winky. He goes for a piss every two minutes after 10 pints of lager but I never managed to synchronise pissing with him so I couldn't take the secret GIF you wanted.

Len-Yes, I got shitfaced with Wardley.

All-Yes, it was a gas. Beat AFU NYC I easily.

Of course, for AFU NYC II there will be a Brit axis to contend with. Watch out NYC.

Ewan "ahm not as drunk as you thunk ah ammmmm" Kirk