The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
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 afu uk 2 51




Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: abw@dsbc.icl.co.uk (Andy Wardley)
Subject: AFU UK 2.51 - Oh What a Night.
Date: Wed, 9 Nov 1994 18:40:55 GMT

T: Got home from work, caught a train up to the smoke, walked around,

got lost, got found, looking for Lamb and Flag, found the pub, no Ewan, Charles Dickens used to drink here, bet you didn't know that, drunk, waited, drunk, waited, drunk, "Ahhhhh, mate, I luv you", new pub, walk, talk, chat, drink, sex, psycho, love, hate, birth, death, hose, pictures, AFU NYC II, Clay, baldy, people, fish, beast, plastic, glasses, beer, drink, "Yes, we will have another pitcher, thank you", hmmm, "You're my best mate", chatter, drinks, "No I didn't bring any pictures of Issy because I really would bore you shitless", "OK, next time perhaps", beer, hmmm hungry, walk, eat, yellow, mexican, plastic glasses, strange woman with "compact" breasts and gun belt filled with tequila bottles, "No I am *definately* not doing tequila slammers, Andy", "You're a pooftah, but you're my best mate", food, pretty crap really but cheap and very yellow, magic mirrors in the toilet make your winky look huge (or small), couldn't find the security camera, though, more drink, more food, more chat, "Your girlfriend's got nice tits", "Yes, I think so", chatter, Guinness, pub, drink, whisky, beer, drink, drink chatter, best be off, train to catch, "Cheers mate, I luv you", walk to Charing Cross, tube to Waterloo, wait 30 minutes for train, nod, doze, <jerk> huh?, phew! - Vauxhall, nod, doze, <jerk> huh?, phew! - Clapham Junction, nod <sleeeeeeeep> <jerk> FUCKOLA! MISSED MY BLOODY STOP.

Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk.

Very late. Very drunk. Very sore feet.

Invented a word for a chap who has to dial in to work in the morning to explain to his boss that he may turn up for work some time later in the day because he was a stupid twat who fell asleep on the train, had to walk miles to get home, slept, woke hungover with little ability to control his bowels, let alone a motor car around the M25 and generally feels pretty stupid: "Telewanker"

But had a good time. Definately 'T'.

Andy "I was that man" Wardley


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