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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: vjrnts@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (Vicki Robinson)
Subject: AFU Toronto ]I[ Report
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 1994 05:04:28 GMT

                                AFU Toronto III
                                5 Mar 1993
                                "The Usual Place"

Present:

Alan Rosenthal          [flaps@dgp.utoronto.ca]
Jeff Rosenthal          [jeff@ustat.utoronto.ca]
Christopher Neufeld     [neufeld@physics.utoronto.ca]
Paul Tomblin            [ab401@freenet.carleton.ca]
Vicki Robinson          [vjrnts@ritvax.edu]

Tb. It is impossible for two or more AFU regulars to get together without

making a lot of in jokes.

Note: Alan, who usually takes the minutes, did not appear to be taking notes, so Paul whipped out his handy PEO, and typed in some of what he considered the best quotes from the day. Be warned that some of the quotes probably need a few pints of Upper Canada Dark Ale before they sound good. However, most of them were hilarious at the time. I guess you had to be there.

Alan had to stare a bit before recognizing Paul, who had grown a beard and sobered up since AFU Toronto II. However, he figured it out when he recognized Vicki immediately, even though they'd never met.

Vicki, not normally a beer drinker, asked the waitress for recommendations, upon which said waitress asked thoughtfully "Are you an American?" "Yeah, does it SHOW?" asked Vicki, to the general merriment of the rest of the table, and the mild consternation of the waitress. Eventually, a nice something or other was produced, which Vicki managed quite nicely to deal with, thus giving lie to the generally accepted myth that Americans wouldn't know a good beer if served one.

Vicki also warned the Canadian contingent that their borders were in dire peril of invasion. The evidence was the grilling that Vicki was subjected to in crossing the border at Niagara Falls, here reproduced in its entirety:

Guard: "Anything?"
Vicki: "No."
Guard: "Go on."

Alan sat next to the American delegate and did not hyperventilate.

Motto of the Day (at least one of them): "The truth of the fact is that it is" - Alan

Random comments, appropos of nothing:

"It's cheap and effective, who could ask for anything more?" - Vicki "So am I" - Paul

"Does this mean we're not allowed to smile in case Ray comes by and chops our head off?" - Christopher (He was referring, of course, to the collective AFU Toronto head, which was sitting in a box at Paul's feet.)

"I'm not making this up" - Christopher
"MOTTO MOTTO MOTTO" - everybody else

"The sun's further away from the sun" - Vicki (This little evidence of early brain damage came about after the first round of beers, when discussing common misconceptions about the cause of seasons, and the Coriolis force^H^H^H^H^Hpseudo force.)

"So find a closet" - Christopher (We don't remember why.)

"BGJW stopped by" - Alan (We were waiting for Peter Plantec.)

"I could almost believe that about California" - Vicki (Golly, this could refer to nearly anything, couldn't it?)

"I know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who co-wrote Airplane II" - Jeff (This was the final result after much earnest debate about the proper degree of separation between Jeff and the screen writer. We all agreed, however, that it was 'way cool to know someone who knew someone who knew someone who knew someone who co-wrote Airplane II, although we also agreed that Airplane! was cooler.)

"Told from the viewpoint of the bread."-Christopher (This was hysterically funny at the time, and the oddest thing was that Christoper was not drinking.)

"You develop the film and the whole error message is there" - Christopher (What happens when you cross one of those little user-friendly cameras that display cryptic error symbols when screwed up, and a Postscript printer. I said, you had to be there!)

Then, finally, a real AFU type discussion, the kind that goes on until dawn in dorms^H^H^H^H^Hserious AFU gatherings all over the globe:

Fact: It is a felony to conspire to commit a felony. Fact: It is a felony to kill a bald eagle. Question: Is it then necessary to intend to actually kill the eagle, or is gathering, say, at a pub in Toronto and discussing *plans* to kill a bald eagle enough to get arrested? What then if you eliminated the eagle entirely, and simply conspired to conspire to do Something Bad? If conspiracy is a felony, then a conspiracy to conspire is a recursive felony, n'est-ce pas? To how many levels could you take it until it lost all resemblance to rational thought? How many rounds had we ordered by this time?

"We're sort of conspiring to conspire to kill a bald eagle" - Jeff

At no time did Alan mention San Francisco or pus.

Vicki took pictures. Alan took video of Vicki signing "But I'm not in anybody's .sig." Paul kept his clothes on most of the time. Everybody had a good time.

--

Vicki Robinson                               "It'll just lead to trouble,  
Odd physics professor                         I know it will."
National Technical Institute for the Deaf       -- Joel "Vicki Robinson"
VJRNTS@ritvax.isc.rit.edu                          Furr, AFU, 1/19/94

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: flaps@dgp.toronto.edu (Alan J Rosenthal)
Subject: Re: AFU Toronto ]I[ Report
Date: 11 Mar 94 15:09:40 GMT

vjrnts@ritvax.isc.rit.edu (Vicki Robinson) writes: >Alan sat next to the American delegate and did not hyperventilate.

That's because I heard it would cause me problems in my subsequent scuba diving, off a skidoo over a frozen lake.

>Fact: It is a felony to conspire to commit a felony.
[etc]

Just to clarify, we were talking about American laws in this case. That's the American system being referred to. Canadian criminal law does not use terms such as "felony" and "misdemeanor", but the conspiracy issue might be the same. Of course, it's neither a crime to kill bald eagles nor trilliums here. Freedom of speech, you know.

Alan "so I guess I'd better post my afu tor 2 report now, coming up next" R.

From: ab401@freenet.carleton.ca (Paul Tomblin (snide Canadian))
Subject: Re: AFU Toronto ]I[ Report
Date: Fri, 11 Mar 1994 18:55:21 GMT

flaps@dgp.toronto.edu (Alan J Rosenthal) writes:

>>Fact: It is a felony to conspire to commit a felony.
>[etc]

>Just to clarify, we were talking about American laws in this case.
>That's the American system being referred to. Canadian criminal law does not
>use terms such as "felony" and "misdemeanor", but the conspiracy issue might be
>the same. Of course, it's neither a crime to kill bald eagles nor trilliums
>here. Freedom of speech, you know.

To clarify the clarification - we were talking about a way I heard for people to avoid the draft. Since in my lifetime, Canada hasn't had a draft (except Ice Beer), we were obviously discussing US law.

And it is a crime to kill Bald Eagles using the most commom method, which is to put a leg hold trap on about 4 feet of chain on the top of a telephone pole. The Jack Miner Bird Sanctuary (near Guelph, Ontario - on the Terra Cotta orienteering map) keeps getting hauled before the courts because they value the lives of thier pretty songbirds more than the raptors that feed on them.

Paul "I'll trade you 500 pigeons for 1 perigrine falcon" Tomblin --
Paul Tomblin - Not a signature virus. (gratuitous Vicki Robinson reference) Not that I have anything against signature viruses... "When viewed from the proper perspective, this thread is actually just a bunch of people being silly." - Daniel Lottero