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The AFU and Urban Legend Archive AFU Minutes afu east ii
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The AFU and Urban Legend Archive AFU Minutes afu east ii
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From: splinter@allink.com (tom cikoski)
Subject: AFU East/Serious Eggheads Conference Minutes
Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1993 19:02:05 GMT
Our story begins as our heros set out from Copley Square, Boston to find the Cambridge Brewing Company, 1 Kendall Square, Cambridge.
[Note: Our heros are splinter and his stalwart henchman Danny, who was chosen for this assignment because his heart is pure.]
Following the officially-approved route, they disembark at the Kendall Square T Station. But, what ho? There is not a sign of the CBC. They ask numerous passers-by for directions. They soon learn that male MIT folk all know the way to CBC, but that female MIT folk can only say "it's around here somewhere." It's not at the Kendall Square T station.
Undaunted, they trudge up Broadway, constantly noting that they are getting farther and farther from Kendall Square. At last, upon reaching "Charles Reardon Square" they see a building adorned with a huge sign "1 Kendall Square" as if in embarassment.
This is the place.
Hip young folk lounge about the urban fern saloon sipping brewskis and smelling the ferns. Three other suspicious people lurk near the entrance. Our heros approach them, confident, self-assured, and in control.
Confident turns out to be gator. Self-assured is Eric J. In control could be none other than Kibo -- but is it really him? Or is this someone posing as Kibo? Kibo's beard is officially described as being "Lincolnesque." This man had no warts on his beard.
Our heros nervously fingered their hidden Glocks. [Men: Try nervously fingering your Glock sometime. You'll like it!]
Suddenly "Kibo" began describing the plot of a movie entitled "Serif Nazis Must Descend" and we knew at once it was he.
The Gang of Five soon hailed a passing maitresse d' and asked for the Shergold party.
"But there are only five of you," she declaimed. "Mr. Shergold reserved space for twenty, plus a Polish Mazurka Band. Whence cometh this disparity?" [Note: Cambridge folk talk this way.]
"They will cometh soon," sayeth splinter. "They are probably looking for 1 Kendall Square in Kendall Square instead of in Reardon Square."
"Forsooth," she said.
So the five were seated. Soon they were joined by Dick Joltes' hearty band of Harvard Heavies. Two lurkers slipped silently into nearby chairs. In no time at all the party had grown to twelve fully-functional adult humans plus two stuffed animals: a gator named "harvee" and a rude-toot Stimpy. Harvee took his place at the head of the table, and Stimpy jumped into the Gritty Kitty, wherein gator had placed chocolate cookies made up to look like cat faeces. Yum, yum.
Orders were placed for the famous CBC beer and food. Two thirds of those present drank of the grain, whilst one-third eschewed chemical stimulants. There were nachos, onion rings, and hot buffalo wings for all. Yum, yum.
The talk inevitably turned to urban legends. Copies of the Shergoldian were passed around and enjoyed. A copy of the recent AFU FAQ was circulated for reference. Heated discussions alternated with cooled monologues from noted experts. Laughter rang out. The cash register rang up. Alas, nothing was resolved, except "to do better next time."
A photographic record of the proceedings was made. It went to the processing labs. All of the photos came back blank. There was a note in the envelope which said, "We made copies of all the lewd ones and sent them to our friends." Do we believe this?
Fortunately, a pen-and-ink representation of the photographic record was also made. This forms the bulk of the much-heralded Journal. To get a copy of the Journal, you must either:
All the gory details are depicted in the Journal.
The evening ended as it had begun. There were loud cries of "AFU forever!" and "I saw it on TV. It has to be true!" and "My God, how did we spend so much money!"
Our heros made their way slowly back to Copley Square and in a nearby hostel slept the dreamless sleep of the truly self-absorbed.
On behalf of:
little gator, splinter, EsJ, Dick Joltes, Jean-Marc Rocher, Alan Richer, Dave Croson, Kibo, Matt McIrvin, Lurker_1, Lurker_2, Danny,
Faithfully submitted,
t "I made it all up" c
--
__________ splinter@allink.com ____________ ( )_( )
:just another middle-aged mutant Zen rat: / \. ./
__________________/ __=.=__
\ m " m
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