The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
AFU
Minutes
 afu ate minutes




From: The AFU-8 attendees (the whole gang)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: AFU ATE -- minutes
Date: 14 Aug 1994 20:15:35 GMT

[here we clearly see the reason why nothing good was ever designed by a committee]

Minutes of AFU 8

[Peter van der Linden:]
It finally happened: the assembled brainpower of an entire newsgroup focused in one small community. But this is not their story. What we have here instead is the minutes of AFU-ATE. As Joe DiMaggio said "Goodbye Folks".

[Sean Willard:]
Sean finally got to test his "new" '82 RX-7 on the road from Davis to SFO, averaging 80 most of the way -- so of course Kim and Clay's flight was 1/2 late, and had to be towed the last 4 meters to the gate! The petite blonde babe in the rakish red hat and the tallish long-haired guy in the d'Artagnan type whiskers had no problem spotting each other, so no need to use the secret word "Nutella". Clay is ... well, distinctive. Clay was met by a charming young lady whose name escapes your correspondent and Kim was swept away in the Rotary Rocket, to try to link up with Harry Teasley and Joe Dimaggio at the Stinking Rose -- no luck, they'd wandered off.

[Harry Teasley III:]
I guess I can try this vi thing here, but please bear with me, as I'm not used to this stone-age stuff (being one of the net.privileged and all) I for one was severely disappointed in everyone, especially Kim, so this is tha last time I trust one of my weekends to this crowd, let me tell you. This is Harry, btw.

[James Coffey:]
Well, if you managed to read this far without hitting K, you're obviously hopeless, as was this weekend. My god, there are actually people still using UNIX and vi. May she have mercy on their souls. It was interesting, however, to learn a new use for nutella and mini-plums. This is Jim, out.

[Rachel Perkins:]
i joined the party late, at an ungodly hour in the morning, 8 am saturday. joe dimaggio was kind enough to collect me at the airport. after spending the morning exploring the bay, we met up with the crowd. i was aghast to learn that garlic had been consumed without me. the official 'afu ate' gathering began with a whimper, but ended with a bang, as our gracious host could not put up with us any longer. many quality subjects were discussed. the hero(ine) of the weekend was, in my estimation, the gracious mrs. van der linden. wendy organized and served us a fantastic barbeque, and did not seem to mind at all when we irritated the neighbors while launching water bombs and mini-plums. and now, it's drawing to aa close. bah.

[Pixel:]
Woof.

[Dickens:]
Woof, woof.

From: linden@positive.eng.sun.com (Peter van der Linden)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: AFU ATE [the real minutes]
Date: 14 Aug 1994 20:32:54 GMT

It's an ugly sight when the whole AFU gang is assembled in one place. Why the neighbors didn't call the police God alone knows. How Bob O'Bob got away from his probation officer long enough to join us with his fruitillator plum artillery equipment, we cannot say.

The event started at 3:30pm sharp. By 3:34pm, everyone was tight as owls except the two dogs, who were heavy into the peanut butter and eying Kim with curiously persuasive dark brown eyes. Clay Shirky stole the show -- he stripped naked, he sung, he danced on the tables, he demonstrated the "Chicago Cross-jostle" position to Brian, with the aid of two ice cubes and a bottle of Crisco.

Rachel explained carefully and repeatedly that her "chastity" .sig was actually a quote from Adorable Huxley. Nolan "No LAN" Hinshaw brought half a Strowger telephone exchange, a spouse and a 14-year old youth.

The Len Berlind condom headwear was awarded to Brian Scearce, who played with it fondly, as soon as he hauled it away from me. Phil Gustafson lent the affair some semi-respectability, at least up until the time Harry and Rachel started comparing tattoos. Joe DiMaggio flew in from Texas for the event (and boy, are his ....etc.) and took numerous compromising photos, enabling him to win back the plane fare in due course.

snopes sat morosely in a corner, and failed to get over 100 responses to anything he said, except "Goodbye. I am leaving now. You will miss me. So long. I mean it."

Terry Carroll tried to deflect attention from himself by bringing a toy pig that allegedly oinked when pressed. Barfed is more like it. Tim Dowd very kindly drove to Modesto, to fill our cups with amber glasses of St Stan's ale. And very nice it was too.

Joe Chew was seen hurriedly concealing a thermos flask. Reports are coming in of bicycle locks strangely shattered throughout the neighborhood... Some connection maybe? Coincidence? I think not.

Terry Chan -- overworked -- overpaid -- over here. Brought his delightful consort Donna, who showed us how to vault into a hammock without offending the most modest amongst us. The rest of us got a good eyeful however.

AFU ATE -- because we can.

The next day, we walked the livestock. Visited a CIA spyship. Brunched heartily, and learned a new way to put milk in coffee, and entertain the kids all at once.

Will attend AFU ATE for food.

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: mandible@netcom.com (Articulate Mandible)
Subject: AFU ATE addendum to the minutes
Date: Mon, 15 Aug 1994 16:45:41 GMT

Additional ObServations from AFU ATE, courtesy of Your Swinging Jawbone:

It was - amazing? Incredible? Astounding? Whatever. It was pretty neat. Thanks to Bob O Bob and Brian Scearce, with the help of Sean Willard, we attendees at AFU ATE, Chez PvdL, got to participate in partickle fizzicks experiments. Bob supplied the particle accellerators and a few prototype partickles; Brian supplied an additional batch of partickles, and Sean supplied the data acquisition hardware. Many of us got to launch partickles into the ether and measure their interactions with whatever they happened to encounter. Sean, blessiz heart, managed to provide a target that most securely captured several projectiles. The primary accellerator failed, on several occasions, to operate correctly when triggered, but that's the way of the world of fizzicks

One particular aspect of the evening's entertainment even involved the neighbors, in they got to retrieve one of the projectiles several times from their back yard and heave it back to us. All in all we had a bang-up time; we all had a blast.
--
Artie the Hinged Jaw
"Kill! Kill! Kill for peace!"

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: sean@thomson.ucdavis.edu (Sean Willard)
Subject: Re: AFU ATE addendum to the minutes
Date: Tue, 16 Aug 1994 06:09:24 GMT

Some footnotes da Jaw omitted:

: It was - amazing? Incredible? Astounding? Whatever. It was pretty neat.
: Thanks to Bob O Bob and Brian Scearce, with the help of Sean Willard,
: we attendees at AFU ATE [1], Chez PvdL, got to participate in partickle
: fizzicks experiments. Bob supplied the particle accellerators [2] and a
: few prototype partickles [3]; Brian supplied an additional batch of
: partickles [4], and Sean supplied the data acquisition hardware.
: Many of us got to launch partickles into the ether and measure their
: interactions with whatever [5] they happened to encounter. Sean,
: blessiz heart, managed to provide a target [6] that most securely
: captured several [7] projectiles. The primary accellerator failed,
: on several occasions, to operate correctly when triggered, but that's
: the way of the world of fizzicks [8]

[1] We sure DID eat.
[2] in particular a scale model of the Gerbilator(tm) we dubbed the

"Fruitilator".
[3] Taped-up cores from cash register tapes. [4] Tiny plums.
[5] Table tops, lawns, neighbors, Dalmatians, a '63 Rolls Royce Silver

Cloud III (sorry Peter, who'd have thought plum pits would do that to that gauge of sheet metal), et cetera. [6] my mouth.
[7] well, one. But with 100% efficiency. [8] We just lump this into "systematic errors".

P.S. Thanks to all for a great time, and thanks esp. to the vdL's for the hospitality!

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: het3@crash.cts.com (Harry Teasley III)
Subject: Re: AFU ATE addendum to the minutes
Date: Tue, 16 Aug 1994 20:09:35 GMT

Sean Willard (sean@thomson.ucdavis.edu) wrote: : P.S. Thanks to all for a great time, and thanks esp. to the vdL's for
: the hospitality!

Yes, indeed, the vdL's are the quintissentially perfect host and hostess; a more gracious couple could not be found anywhere on this particular planet. Many thanks for a magnificent weekend.

Harry "Got to see a spy ship, too" Teasley

Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: obrien@netcom.com (No parking EXCEPT FOR BOB)
Subject: Re: AFU ATE addendum to the minutes
Date: Tue, 23 Aug 1994 17:17:37 GMT

Harry Teasley III <het3@crash.cts.com> wrote: >Sean Willard (sean@thomson.ucdavis.edu) wrote:
>: P.S. Thanks to all for a great time, and thanks esp. to the vdL's for
>: the hospitality!
>
>Yes, indeed, the vdL's are the quintissentially perfect host and hostess;
>a more gracious couple could not be found anywhere on this particular
>planet. Many thanks for a magnificent weekend.

I've nothing but agreement to add to these most appropriate sentiments.

But why should I let that stop me from posting?

Bob O`Bob


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