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Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
From: Phil Gustafson <phil@rahul.net>
Subject: Advice for a Newbie
Date: Fri, 2 Sep 1994 03:05:49 GMT

Keith Hamburger YUM! YUM! <burger@cscns.com> wrote: >keithk@guvax.acc.georgetown.edu wrote:
>: The Annals of Improbable Research (satirical science magazine
> ^^^^^
>You misspelled "butthole".

You know, Keith, I'm not much for giving unsolicited advice, so I'm just going to mention a trick that works for me. Before I strike any key that exposes my thoughts to a couple hundred thousand mostly smart and mostly interesting and mostly kind-hearted people, I ask myself a few questions:

Is it possible that someone, somewhere, will find my post interesting or funny?

Will this post make someone smile? Will it make him spit coffee on his screen, or introduce her to a good book, or answer a question for him, or piss her off enough to enjoy getting me back?

If it's a flame, does the victim at least sort of deserve it, and is there enough truth and humor in the post to make it better than churlish abuse?

Have I made enough posts with content in them lately to allow myself one more quick one-liner?

Will the post be worth the trouble it causes to all those electrons and phosphors and magnetic flakes and index fingers?

Lord knows I blow it sometimes, Keith, but I do all right, except maybe on the one about the flames, and I get more fan mail than hate mail and I don't think I'm in anybody's kill file.

What the Hell, Keith, here's some unsolicited advice: Don't post for thirty days. Just read. If you find you like it, and think you have something to say, come back, and welcome. But learn the rules first.

And, Keith, if I've misspelt something, don't bother telling me about it.

Cheers, Phil


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