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Acronyms and AFU - A Beginner's Guide

First, a correction and a disclaimer

Correction: That should be "abbreviations", not "acronyms", unless you can pronounce "IHNJ,IJLS" without expelling mucus or saliva.

Disclaimer: I am not trying to take the fun out of AFU! Those weasel nettisms deserve to die, and they have plenty of other newsgroups to hang out in. There are plenty of AFU in-jokes to delight or confound you as the spirit moves you, and I have no intention of blowing the whistle on them. So there.

Second, the dogma

On alt.folklore.urban there is a BOA - a Ban On Acronyms (but see the previous paragraph.) The basic reason, and a basic reason is all you're going to get in this short document, is that like emoticons they are the sign of a lazy mind. Learn to write properly instead, and lead a fuller, richer, and happier life, visit beautiful and exotic foreign lands, meet alluring members of the appropriate sex, and have the internal organ of your choice removed in your hotel room.

(The fact that BOA is itself an acronym is a joke, all right? You should be familiar with the concept.)

Third, the "out" list

Abbreviations and acronyms to avoid are predominantly those which encode short common-language phrases. Since part of the "fun" for small minds is playing with those who don't know what they mean, I'm going to prick a few balloons on behalf of newbies. By the way, there isn't a Santa Claus either.

AFAIK    "As far as I know."
BTW      "By the way."
FWIW     "For what it's worth."
HTH      "Hope this helps."  Frequently sarcastic.
IIRC     "If I remember correctly."
IMHO     "In my humble opinion."  The opinion then expressed is rarely
         humble.  If you must be a conceited prick, do it with pride.
ISTR     "I seem to recall/remember."
OTOH     "On the other hand."  ...there's a fist.
TIA      "Thanks in advance."  What for?  I ignored you completely.
WTF      "What the Fornication Under Consent of the King."
YHBT,YHL,HAND
         "You have been trolled, you have lost, have a nice day."  Three
         for the price of one there.  Trolling is largely considered
         passe on AFU; use this and show yourself to be just another
         damn tourist.

There are many, many, many more, but these should give the flavour. Now that you've read them, forget you ever saw them, but first notice how many of them (AFAIK, FWIW, IIRC, IMHO, ISTR) when written in full weaken the text they appear in. They're for wimps; if you're not sure, 'fess up to it straight, and quit hiding behind a string of letters like a banana republic generalissimo.

Fourth, the "in" list

So here's a list of those abbreviations and acronyms that are generally considered acceptable on AFU. It's a short list.

AFU

"Alt.Folklore.Urban" If you can't work this one out, a brain scan in your case would probably include an electron microscope somewhere in the proceedings.

FOAF

"Friend of a friend" This encapsulates the second-hand untraceability of the sources of so many urban legends. The husband of a woman who works with your best friend's brother and who has seen the X-ray of the gerbil is a FOAF.

UL

"Urban Legend" Surely we can get a little familiar with our stock in trade.

Naturally, the general rules employed by literate people to determine the use of abbreviations and acronyms in general writing also apply, so you don't need to type "United States of America" in full. Don't be silly; really, the ban is just about those egregious nettisms.

There are also certain acronyms and abbreviations, or not, which are grist to the AFU mill. This document, and the BOA in general, are not about these; you are on your own.

Fifth and last, the "fence sitters"

These are abbreviations and acronyms peculiar to AFU. They enjoy a higher level of acceptance than the "out" list, but purists may wish to eschew them.

TAFKAC

"The Archive Formerly Known As Cathouse." This one is becoming more obscure as time passes and new readers join AFU who are unaware that the Urban Legends archive at http://tafkac.org was once located at cathouse.org.

TWIAVBP

"The World Is A Very Big Place." This is: (a) a stock rejoinder to anybody who makes statements that erroneously assume practices, events, morals, language, etc, in their part of the world apply universally; and (b) a disclaimer preceding a reference to practices, events, morals, language, etc, etc.

"Furrfu" is not an abbreviation. Sheesh!