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From: lberlind@panix.com (Len Berlind)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: The Future Is Cheese
Date: 28 Feb 1995 13:29:52 -0500

tc wrote:

:( )_( )
: \. ./
: _=.=_
: " -- And -- there's no more toilet paper!

New York, February 28

Previously angry AFU GmbH stockholders were calm today after a tumultuous all-night meeting following the collapse of Baring Brothers & Co. of London and suspension of trading in AFU's shares on stock exchanges worldwide.

As bitter accusations of malfeasance and mismanagement poisoned the air, an unprepossessing rodent shyly took the podium. Waving a press release from the Chicago-based Upper Deck Corporation above his fuzzy head he began to squeak in deliberate, measured tones.

"I have seen the future, and it is cheese." Exhausted attendees slumped in their seats as the little rat continued. "Boys, cheese is our friend. It comes in lots of tasty flavors from many, many different places but it is always cheese. Take it to the bank: You can bet your last dollar on cheese."

Frowns turned to smiles and then to grins as copies of the press release were quickly distributed to the crowd. Cries of "We are Saved!" rang out as shareholders read and digested the announcement of a new line of trading cards. Featuring fermented and cultured milk products from The Holy Land, it is entitled "Cheeses Of Nazareth."