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From: rrd@fc.hp.com (Ray Depew)
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: Moths infest AFU Plaza, film at eleven
Date: 31 Oct 1994 15:33:11 GMT

                   MOTHS INVADE AFU PLAZA ONE
        ELEVATORS SHUT DOWN, VENTILATING SYSTEM CLOGS UP
                CITY AUTHORITIES PREPARE TO FUMIGATE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
DATELINE: NEW YORK CITY, OCTOBER 31, 1944

Weekend workers at AFU Plaza One were forced to evacuate over the weekend, due to a sudden invasion of 'motto motto' moths in the building. People reporting for work on a frosty Monday morning found the ground-floor lobby structure of the massive underground building shrouded in billowing plastic, as professional exterminators continued their fumigation operations.

It all started with a seemingly innocent observation from a visiting etymologist, Dr. Leo J. Rruf. Dr. Rruf, an expert in the rare 'motto motto' butterfly, had been performing research on the 'motto motto,' as three excellent specimens had been spotted in the past month. "It was unusual to find them so late in the season. All of the 'motto mottoes' usually die out or migrate to the Devil's Triangle for the winter, and most of them are gone from New York City by the end of September. In fact, I had just sent Kim, my best field worker, on an extended trip to the nether regions to collect more specimens, when I happened upon a bizarre re-interpretation of my previously collected data."

The data, comprised of notes taken from this season's last three samples, indicated a migration pattern fanning outward from New York City, site of AFU Plaza One, headquarters of corporate giant AFU Inc. Dr. Rruf arrived here late Friday night and commenced his investigation immediately. With screwdriver, magnifying lens and flyswatter [change that to "butterfly net" -- Ed.] in hand, Dr. Rruf patrolled the halls of the windowless edifice, looking for more clues to the unusually large -- and late -- 'motto motto' migration.

Just ten floors above the world-famous Axeman Institute, Dr. Rruf heard a rustling behind an air return grating. Half-expecting to find an errant smiley from the Axeman Institute, the doctor removed the grating. "Suddenly, the largest and most beautiful specimen of 'motto motto' that I've seen all season came rushing out at me, followed by a horde of poorly-formed, immature specimens. They flew down the hall and up the brass-pole shafts, infesting every floor."

[Include photo of specimen in question. Caption: "Monster 'motto motto,' which was caught and chloroformed in a conference room on the thirteenth floor of AFU Plaza One"

Phil Gustafson (phil@panix.com) wrote:

        : It's still bullshit, doctor, if you're really a doctor,
        : and podiatrists don't count.

]

Police were alerted to the invasion when the third-shift janitorial staff went running from the building, screaming "MOTTO! MOTTO! MOTTO!" The entire block was speedily quarantined, and firemen equipped with air packs and breathing gear combed the building, dodging moths and looking for surviving humans.

Joe King, president of Joe The Exterminator, Inc., shrouded the building's ground-floor lobby in plastic and began pumping noxious gases into the building a mere two hours after the infestation was discovered. "We'll nail those suckers if it takes all week," he said. Cost of the fumigation was estimated at two-fifty.

The directors of AFU Inc. were not available for comment.

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