The AFU and Urban Legend Archive
AFU
AFU, Inc.
 insider trading investigation




From: "Thomas O'Donnell" <todonnel@otcdev13.silver2.lehman.com>
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 1994 13:05:31 -0400

          AUF Insider Trading Investigation Begins;
                Stock Price Returns to Normal
          =========================================

NEW YORK.       In the aftermath of the wild price swings of AFU

stock in the last several weeks, the SEC today announced that it will begin closed door hearings into allegations of insider trading. "Some people made a lot of money here, and for every dollar gained by the big guys, a dollar was lost by the little folks. We intend to get to the bottom of it all," said an SEC representative. Vice President Al Gore was quick to add that the federal government and Microsoft (MSFT), having invented the Information Superhighway, also had an obligation to protect the widows, orphans and clueless newbies. Gore and Microsoft chairman Bill Gates both invited e-mail from all parties interested in expressing their views on the subject.

Warren Buffett, meanwhile, continues to keep his distance from the incipient scandal and denies any insider knowledge. "Aberrant noise/signal (N/S) ratios tend to return to the norm, over time. When AFU's N/S skyrocketted after Labor Day, that was a signal to jump in with both feet. Heck, anyone could have done it. Cheaper than a martingale, more reliable, too." Paraphrasing famed Anglican/Episcopalian financier Bernard Baruch, Buffett quipped "I buy my old hats in September."

In other developments, AFU's stock price has gradually floated up to the levels it occupied in late August, creating a sense of deja vu on Wall STreet.

"We're no strangers to deja vu," averred an AFU spokesperson. "We've seen it many times before. Especially in September."


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