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From: dennyzen@delphi.com
Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban
Subject: AFU Regular Gives Birth to Large Predatory Feline
Date: Sat, 4 Jun 94 11:59:36 -0500

                              AFU Inc.
                       1 AFU Plaza, 117th Floor
                       New York, NY 10000-0001
 
                            June 4, 1994
 
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                 CONTACT: Vice President, Marketing

(New York) AFU, Inc., the publicly-traded commercial arm of the Usenet newsgroup alt.folklore.urban, today announced its intention to create its own billion-dollar global AFUnet. Panther Digital Corporation, a newly-formed Connecticut network management technology corporation, has been signed to design and build the new network for the sum of US $1.2 billion. Funding for the project is expected to come from T-shirt sales to AFU regulars. The new network will carry only AFU posts, flame wars about Joel Furr, and EMail between "old AFU hats."

Why Panther Digital Corporation?

"Our staff includes people with over two months of network design experience," said Thomas Cikoski, president of Panther Digital. "This new project is right up our information superhighway, so to speak."

"Besides," he continued, "We need the business."

"We have complete confidence in our new vendor," said Thomas Cikoski, Vice President of Human Asset Management for AFU, Inc. "I've known the Panther Digital folks for many years, and they're top drawer."

"Top left-hand drawer, to be precise," echoed Panther Digital's Cikoski.

"We chose Panther Digital because of their crack^H^H^Htrack record, even though their bid was a tad higher than AT&T, MCI, and CIA," AFU's Cikoski said. "The fact that both the president of Panther Digital and I have the same name -- in fact the same body -- is sheer coincidence. There is no conflict of interest here. None, nada, rien."

"No indeedy," Cikoski added. "I can't think of any recent case where there has been less conflict of interest than this one."

"Me neither," said Cikoski.

The Securities and Exchange Commission declined to comment.

Officials from both AFU, Inc., and Panther Digital Corporation hasten to assure the public that both institutions will continue to function normally throughout the long project.

"We hope that everyone will continue to post in the old crowded newsgroup until the shiny new AFUnet is available," said Cikoski.

"And we're always ready to accept new *paying* customers at Panther Digital Corporation," Cikoski added. "It may be a while before AFU has sold $1.2 billion worth of T-shirts."

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